Of condoms and hitting high notes


So this title is somewhat related to the content, and after marathoning several Mamrie Hart videos last night, I’m feeling extremely puntastic this Thursday morning. Here’s to a tantalising Thursday, people!

This is so much better than when I interviewed Penang chief minister and political scion Lim Guan Eng, and my boss belanja-ed me amazing seafood at Tanjung Bungah, Penang and I discovered delicious 3-in-1 coffee all in one day.

So I have never had any reason to touch, see or use condoms and never will have – but on Monday I was complimented on doing a great job with a condom press release. Like, this makes me 200 kinds of awesome, the ultimate bullshitter if you will. Praise Gandalf for Elance, where people can advertise for marketing jobs without specifying the product, and then all sort of things are revealed. For instance, the company’s manufacturing arm is based in Malaysia, woots! I mean, I already knew Malaysia is the world’s largest condom producer – mainly for export – because of its long history with rubber since the first rubber seeds were brought over by the East India Trading Company/ other British colonialists from Kew Gardens oodles of years ago. Yay my history knowledge~ The client’s feedback was simple: “Great Job”. So ripe for punning, and double-triple meanings. So I’m leaving that there.

So some of you may think “How low can you go?” I call bullshit on that. As I told my friends when I first bid for this media kit project, ace-ing a press release about something that I have zero experience with or no references to go on (trust me, I googled condom press release and came up with nothing) would not only be a great mood booster but also add “sex industry” to my client list that’s already filled with beauty, travel, wellness, engineering, ICT, human resources and food sectors. Joking not joking.

It’s so adorable that the second part of this post “hitting high notes” is so relatable to condoms because the English language is awesome. But no, I am uber excited about writing my first advertorial in the UK – something I haven’t done in months – and was overwhelmed by all these newsy feelings. Some may feel there is a thin line between the marketing content of press releases and advertorials, but since I started out as an advertorial writer for government agencies and corporate clients, the advertorials I have written always echo the news style. Which is why advertorials must be printed below the heading “advertorial feature” under various Advertising Laws. So anyway, “hitting high notes” was my punny take on promoting an Australian hearing aid and advice provider. Yet ANOTHER client industry to add to my ever-growing Elance list. Also, client said my work was “fantastic” and asked me to work on another project. Also, I commend Australians because this guy released payment almost immediately. Big ups, dude.

I have so many thoughts running through my head now, what with chasing down local charities, council officers and event organisers for my news reporting assignment, getting the parents to sift through my business card holders at home (WHY DIDN’T I BRING THEM TO THE UK ARGHHHHHH) to find a possible interviewee to profile for my 3-minute video project, and rejoicing over possible Sconul access to SOAS London for my Masters thesis (thanks David the Librarian).

But one thing that I have stuck to is my 30-minute walks to and from Park campus, regardless of the weather, listening to Epik High, Octopus Project and John Legend. Why? Because sometimes it rains just enough for me to tap dance (at least try to) like Gene Kelly in Singin’ in the Rain in my cheap boots. Other times, inspiration hits and I start singing along to my walking playlist or screaming out loud (like I did yesterday, sorry all the posh people in Montpellier): “Stephanie, you’re a genius. Did you hear that? I’m surprised by what your puny brain can come up with. Who’s amazing? YOU ARE!”

To paraphrase Meredith Grey, “Why do people do drugs when chasing stories is so much of a high?”

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